i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Your dad touched me again.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
