it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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