He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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