Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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