you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
