she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
