Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
