I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
