I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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