some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
