Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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