just come out here and I will go home with you...
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
