You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I have post one night stand depression
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
