this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
