Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
