After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
