oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
