Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
