I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
