Jerry, you need to find god
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
