Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize