So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
