I want to walk on stilts...naked
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
