He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
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