I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
