If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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