i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
