'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
