How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
