Already got asked if we're dating
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
