Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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