Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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