Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
They have beer where we have blood.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
