I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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