I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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