We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
