Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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