Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
