he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
