We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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