this beer tastes like vomit already
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
