We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
