Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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