An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
