your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
