ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
North Korea, Best Korea!
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
