i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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