Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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