I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
