the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
