so that wasnt chicken after all
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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