Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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