I must be too annoying 4 u.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
