dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
