and she was petting her beer can
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
