Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
