Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
