From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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