yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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