I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
