and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
