let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We had to coat check the pizza.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
