Midget sex pt 2 tonight
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
