The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
