The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
